1. When you are caught totally checking yourself out in the mirror post-workout.
Self-love game = STRONG…until your eyes wander from your reflection and into the amused gaze of your locker-room companion. Feel the burn! (Of your cheeks)
2. When you pick up the wrong weight.
You’re ready to pump that iron! You grab that dumbbell – ready to give Popeye a run for his money. You reach down and lift…oh wait, it’s not budging from the floor. Before you burst a blood vessel and give yourself hemorrhoids you slowly step away from the dumbbell, far, far away, retracting into the shadows like Nosferatu, never to be seen at that gym again. Until you remember you are contracted into a two year membership.
3. Crotch sweat.
Yeah, so it turns out you can’t do a spin class in your cotton yoga leggings…unless you actually want to look like you have peed your pants.
It’s a gym NOT a farmyard people.
5. Not being able to find your zen.
‘Be calm but focused, relaxed but strong’. Am I the only one getting mixed messages here?? It’s like that time I thought Gary was into me, but then he never called.
6. Not being able to keep up with instructor…or the rest of the class.
The one occasion where you really don’t want to stand out from the crowd.
7. Forgetting your sports bra.
Not just awkward but painful! Plus your gym routine suddenly resembles a Burlesque performance – minus the tassels.
8. PDA in the sauna/steam room.
Third wheeling a couple that is making out in the sauna is the worst. Not only do I not know where to look but also I feel like I am passively and unwillingly taking part in a ménage à trois.
9. When you don’t how to use the equipment.
Fake it til’ you make it right?
10. When you are caught creepin’ on muscle.
I was simply admiring how contoured your Brachioradialis is. I promise! That lingering stare I just gave you was nothing more than a scientific observation of the anatomy *wipes drool*.
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