10 Ways to Crush This Whole Relationship Thing

10 Sep 2019

So, you’ve got them to notice you, you’ve flirted your way into their heart, and now you’re actually in a relationship. Yaayyy! Congratulations!! But now what? How do you keep them around, maybe even fall in love? We know that this a definite worry for you right now, so we’re stepping in to give you this awesome collection of tips to absolutely crushing this relationship thing. We know, we know, we spoil you. 

1) Be present

So you probably aren’t used to someone wanting to spend this time with you right? Well they probably want to spend all their time with you. Whilst this can be completely amazing, it can be hard to adjust to having someone in your life who wants to do that. Train yourself to put your phone away, step away from the group chat, the PS4 and everything else when they are around, and be present with them. 

2) Don’t play games

It might be tempting to play the “who messaged last” game in the early days of a relationship, but the time for playing it cold (if there ever was one) has now gone. You are in a relationship with this person, so playing games and waiting to reply to their messages so you seem busy is pretty unnecessary at this point. If you are doing this because you have a touch of cold feet, sit down and talk to your other half about it. Chances are, they will hear you out and you guys can come up with a plan together for helping you get through it. 

3) Make time for each other…

Like we said, the transition into a new a relationship can be hard, especially if it’s your first in a while or first altogether. Making sure you have time to spend together is a sure-fire way to keep the relationship going and will show the other person that you want to be with them. 

4) …And for some alone time 

Even if you do want to spend every waking minute of the day in their company, having some time for you and your friends and family is also super important. Making time to play video games or watch a movie with your best pals is the perfect way to ensure they don’t feel ignored or ditched by you now you’re in a relationship. Don’t let your other half be seen as the one who broke up the band, and you guys will last longer for it.  

5) Don’t ignore the issues  

Arguments happen. The trick is to not ignore them. No one ever wants the honeymoon period to be over on a new relationship but trust us, it’s when you get past that that all the really amazing stuff about being in a relationship can happen. If you ignore arguments, hide your feelings or try not to say stuff that’s on your mind, you are heading straight for a much bigger fight down the line so keep communicating all the way and not much can go wrong. 

6) Plan fun stuff to do together…

 Quality time can plummet when you are in a relationship. It can be easy to get into a routine of all the same stuff just on different days, and that will lead to one thing: boredom. Keep the fun going by planning some jokes stuff to do together that will keep you both smiling. 

7) …and make sure you share the planning 

Just don’t be that person who makes their other half plan every date, trip, or even just day spent lounging watching TV. Be proactive and make choices too, offer suggestions and surprise them with some super fun stuff you’ve planned on your own. Again, a fight-saver if ever there was one. 

8) Respect their spaces

Don’t give them a reason to hate you by leaving your dishes to grow fur in their bedroom or your stuff all over their Mum’s brand-new sofa. Just as you would want them to respect whatever space is important to you, they want that too. Of course, there are probably gonna be days when the pair of you go full slob together and that’s cute, but try and keep your shit together on the average day when you are hanging out at theirs. 

9) Make an effort with their friends and family

Just as they should make an effort with yours, make an effort with their mates and family. Even if their little sister is annoying, their parents are intimidating or their mates aren’t quite your cup of tea, you are in a relationship with this person for them, not everyone else in their life. The chances are, they love these people, and these people were in their life way before you were. So, if you want to stay in that relationship, make an effort to make them happy. 

10) Be kind 

So easily forgotten in relationships, but probably the most important thing. Be kind to them, what and who they love, and be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to grow into the relationship, don’t be too hard on yourself or take any frustrations out on them. Just keep checking in with yourself and you’ll be hitting that one-year anniversary before you know it. 

Good luck! You got this.

Need some relationship advice? Head over to the Ditch the Label Community for confidential help.

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