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Confidence Mental Health Self-Help

5 Tips for Coping with Change When You Absolutely Hate It

Change can suck, right? Sometimes it feels like you are just getting into the swing of life, finding your rhythm and your tribe, and then something comes around that could change everything forever. We know that that feeling can be pretty scary, and that change is not something that everyone can deal with easily. That’s why we have put together a super quick guide to getting comfortable with it. 

1) Remember that change is natural

OK, so maybe this isn’t exactly what you want to hear, but change is always going to happen. It is a natural, normal and unavoidable part of being a human. We grow, we learn, we move around the planet. All of those things make staying in one place without changing pretty much impossible. Knowing that resisting change is fighting a losing battle might not seem particularly helpful right now, but coming to terms with that is a huge step towards looking at change as something positive. 

2) Think how far you’ve come already

The fact that you are where you are right now has come about through change, and it must be a pretty good place if you want to stay there. A good way to understand that change is part of life, and that it can lead to good things, is to map out your life so far. Think about where you were a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago. Chances are in that time, there has been a lot of changes in your life that didn’t end up so bad, loads that probably made your life pretty epic, if only for a while. 

3) Allow yourself to be not ok for a bit…  

If you need to freak out about it, give yourself the space and time to do so. Why not try setting a time limit on yourself, and say you are allowed to let your mind run away with itself about the change that’s coming for no more than 30 minutes. Then, afterwards, sit down and start to rationalise. This way, you give yourself the space to feel what you need to feel about it, but it doesn’t get out of hand. 

4) …Then face it head on 

You might have had your mini freak out about the changes that are coming, but now is the time to understand it and face it head on. Take a moment to calm down, clear your mind and ground yourself by trying to control your breathing. 

Sitting upright in a chair, place both feet flat on the floor and arm resting comfortably by your side or on your knees. Close your eyes, and let out a long breath. Then, feeling your chest rise, breathe in for five seconds through your nose. Hold it for one, and let it out for another four. Repeat this until you feel your thoughts begin to slow and you feel calmer.  

Now, have a think about the changes that are coming and keep breathing in slowly and deeply. Now you’ve had this chance to freak out and process it, try to carry on with your day as normal. There is no reason to have to deal with it straight away, or all at once. In fact, processing it a little at a time might help you understand it, and that it doesn’t necessarily have to be the scariest thing in the world. 

5) Change your thoughts

If you are still feeling anxious about changes that are around the corner, have a think about the possible outcomes of it, and how these might make your life better. So, if what is making your brain run wild is the prospect of moving out of home to go to uni, try thinking logically about it in a positive way. So;

‘I am worried about leaving my family’ could be ‘I get a chance to explore a new city’

‘I don’t want to leave my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner’ could be ‘I will get to meet lots of new people and it might make the relationship stronger’

‘I don’t know if I can handle the workload’ could be ‘I will be challenged, and I will be proud of what I do because of this’

We know that change can be unsettling. If you feel like you need to talk about what is going with you, you can reach out to the Ditch the Label Community here, and we will listen to you. 

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