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8 Things to Feel More Secure In Yourself

Am I good enough? 

Comparing ourselves to the people around us is totally normal. It can even be helpful, because it helps us work out who we are and what we’re good at. But unfortunately, we’re surrounded by unrealistic examples of what our lives ‘should’ be like, which is especially true on social media.

Social media has invented a new way for us to compare ourselves to other people. We see people posting about the best bits of their lives and we forget that they don’t share all the bad bits too.

This can all add up and make us feel like we’re not good enough and companies take advantage of this, making lots of money selling products to make us ‘look better’, ‘be stronger’, ‘fit in’… but, ya know, always stand out and be yourself as well.

But, did you know…?

It only takes two weeks to change your self-esteem. So even if you feel like you’re not good enough compared to the people around you, there are some simple steps that you can take to build up your confidence. Before you know it, you’ll stop comparing yourself to the people around you and start to embrace the fact that you are the best person out there at being you.

8 Things That Will Make You Feel More Secure In Yourself

Use your strengths

The VIA Character Strengths are 24 strengths that all of us have in different combinations, and each of us is strongest in different areas.

No-one can be good at everything and that’s OK. So instead of focusing on where we’re weakest, we should remember all the things we are great at!

The best way to boost your self-esteem is to find ways to use your natural strengths to help the people around us. It feels really rewarding and fulfilling to be the best person we can be.

Acknowledge your thoughts

When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, notice it and recognise what you’re doing, and what your brain is saying. Instead of trying to ignore the thoughts – say hi to them, and realise they’re there.

Pull the brakes

When you experience negative self-talk – literally say the word STOP out loud to yourself. This interrupts the negative stream of thought.

Flip the negatives

Reframe the negative thoughts so that they focus on the positive instead.

Find the full half of the glass.

Step away from social media

Take some time away from your social feeds, and give your comparing brain a rest.

Unfollow anyone who you compare against

When/if you do go back online, make sure you’re only following people who make you feel good.

Be your own best friend

Next time your negative voices kick in, reply as if you were talking to your best friend.

Affirmations

Tell yourself positive statements which challenge your negative beliefs.

Think of three negative things that you believe about yourself and then flip them around so that they become positive statements. These flipped beliefs are called affirmations.

If you can’t think of any negative beliefs, think of three things that you want for yourself, for example “I want to get a distinction in my piano exam”, and turn them into ‘I am’ statements: “I am going to get a distinction in my piano exam.’

Every time you brush your teeth, or when you get a spare moment, silently repeat the affirmations to yourself.

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