Friends and Family

Hurt by friends

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    So my best friend lost his appointment so let him and girlfriend and their baby move in with me but I'm hurt and jealous they spend their weekends with their other friend. I have not seen them for 3 days Makes me feel that I'm not good enough.the only time I see them is an hour dring the week. They come home eat and go to be. to top it all his new friend is going to marry my friends sister. I'm I just overreacting? And I can't help but to feel hurt. I guess I'm not good enough to come home to
    Hey Croft85,

    That's so considerate of you to offer to share your space with your best friend. How long have they been living with you?

    It sounds like you were hoping that them moving in with you would allow you to have more time together.

    Here's some suggestions on how to speak to someone you're having conflict with:

    https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-...ct-resolution/

    Do your friends know that you would like more time with them? The first thing would be to share with them what you expected when you let them move in... but something that we must do, for ourselves, is acknowledge that maybe they didn't know about your desires, and maybe it's too much to ask of them.

    When I have shared space with people, on a short term basis, I know I have tried to limit the amount of space I take up in their house, and spend as little time as possible at the house. I don't want to be a burden.

    It's important to show empathy to their situation-- they just moved out of their own space and now have to share. It's a big transition! No matter how incredible it is that you are sharing your place, their lives have shifted dramatically. And, before they moved in, they lived a certain lifestyle that they may be trying to maintain.

    But you want more time with them.. and that's ok! Just talk to them.. tell them your wants/needs and allow them to share what they need/want. Collaborate to come up with a plan that feels good for everyone!

    -willow

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        Well they did it to again. We made plans yesterday for today. And it looks like I'm stood up again they went to their other friends house last night and they are to hungohung to come home I hate this and don't know how to tell them

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            Is there any one here to talk to?

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                Hey Croft85,

                Aw, man. I'm sorry! It seems like they don't understand how much it means to you to spend time with them. You've been very accommodating and patient.

                This is kind of like a new relationship-- where each of you are trying to maintain independence, but also spend time together.

                What changes/boundaries would you like to make for yourself so that you can be healthy and happy? It might help to just reduce any expectation of them, and just see them more as housemates, until they show interest in making time.

                -willow

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