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  • Friend Refusing to Believe My Side of A Story

    Okay, I may be putting this in the wrong forum? I'm new here, so I'm not sure... it can honestly go either here or maybe in Dating and Relationships, but it's mostly about a friend, so I'm putting it here... I have a friend, IRL, who is refusing to look at my side of a story. She claims that she's looking at my side, but it's clear that she isn't.... I'm going to copy/paste what I told my friend:
    She’s staunchly on the side of her friend, whom she introduced me to, who used me for sexting. I had originally told him that it would make me uncomfy but he continued to ask, and, me being a f***ing weak little Boo Boo the Fool, gave in cuz I didn’t wanna say no or disappoint him. I showed my friend proof of this crap the other night, including when I straight asked him about what we were and the fact that he seemed to have no intention of meeting up irl with me. She was like “wElL aLlL I sEe Is HiM aPoLoGizInG aNd UnDeRsTaNdInG yOuR fEeLiNgS” and she COMPLETELY ignored the fact that he showed a lack of respect by continuing to ask for nudes after I said it made me uncomfortable. I had asked him to not stop talking to me after sexting, but you know what he wound up doing? Dropping. Communication. And she seemed to expect me to know everything about him like she does. She also seemed to expect me to be not mad at him after she told me that he “maintains 3 jobs”, but it just pissed me off more because if he actually gave a shit about me, he would have told me and explained. But he didn’t, so it’s clear he was only after one thing. She acted the other night like she’s told me all of the stuff before when she hasn’t. She is staunchly on his side because she has a crush on this 19 year old man.
    So... yeah. I was pretty much pushed into doing things that I was uncomfortable with, and kept going along with it because I'm bad at saying no... and this friend of mine, she also sent one of her friends after me. I didn't engage, since that's what they wanted. But I'm just... so upset over this, since I really liked this girl... then again, I'm not sure if I could have expected anything else from a fricking 13 year old with a blind crush on a damn adult....

  • #2
    Hey Starsy,

    Hmm how old are you can I ask? It seems like a lot of your anger is pointed towards this girl when it should be directed towards the guy. What he did was absolutely not okay and if you are a minor, then what he did was illegal. You say you were pushed into doing things you were uncomfortable with, who did that to you? This guy, not your friend. She hasn't reacted to the situation the way you would have hoped, but she is not the person who has wronged you. If she does have a crush on this adult, it very well may be that she can't see his flaws, but you can and you don't need her validation that what you have experienced was undair and unjust, I think you already know that.

    I hear you are upset and it may be worth taking some time out from this friendship and giving it some distance so you can look at things objectively.

    Remi

    Comment


    • Starsy
      Starsy commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm 17... I know it was basically illegal, but I don't think I have the mental energy to go through with any legal action, if any could be taken. And as for the friend, I've basically dumped this girl as a friend, she wasn't the greatest anyways. When she was at my place once I ordered food over the phone which I had never done before, and I have social anxiety, so I was really nervous and tripping over words, and when I got off the phone she said it was entertaining...

    • Remi
      Remi commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey Starsy,

      Sounds like you have set your boundaries and this is a good move for you, well done.
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