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  • Stress symptoms

    Lately, I felt like having my life finally in order, but over past month, those stress symptoms just started to get stronger. Sometimes I have problem with breathing, my chest feels heavy and I can't get enough air in my lungs. In worst cases even my stomach hurts and I feel like something is going to rip me apart from the inside. I already told my parents and they said that it is from long-term stress. But I still fail to find out what am I stressed of. I know there's been lot of it, but I felt like it was flowing around me, like nothing of it can affect me.
    For example my "friend" got to know one boy and she was telling me how she fell in love with him, but her parents forbid her from meeting him again, 'cause she is 14 and he's friggin 17. Aside of that, he's smoking and I heard he and his friends are quite "known company" in their village. Of course I told her that she shouldn't meet him because I was seriously scared that he might rape her or something. But she just got angry with me and told me that if I would know him I would speak differently. I think she wasn't thinking straight and she was extremly mad with her parents that she wanted to run away from home and even told me that she would kill herself. She wouldn't talk about it constantly if she wanted to do it. I get she wants attention, but she have NEVER listened to MY problems. It was always me who listened to her and when I told her about mine, she just acted like I'm some drama queen who makes big fuss about nothing. I feel bad about not talking to her now, but I can't help her now. When I talked to her she drained all my energy. I get that she doesn't have anyone else to talk to, but I do not have either!

    And now thees stress symptoms. I avoid people as much as I can, I go to school once a week just to write exams, I try to work on my projects to take my mind of thees things but it doesn't work. When I'm on the tramp I just put my headphones on, stand in a corner and close my eyes, so I can ignore that ugly feeling I'm still haunted by. Maybe I'm just socially anxious or something but I don't know anymore. If you have any advice about getting rid of stress, I'll be glad to hear it.

  • #2
    Stygimoloch It could be that you are bottling things up which can cause the physical reactions you are describing. It takes work but its good practice to get into regular self-care so that things don't get a chance to build up.

    This is really helpful as it contains everything you m might need: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/stress...ltimate-guide/ There are links to our Stress Reprogramming programme too.

    It's also positive that you recognise that the balance isn't quite right with your friend - could you try and have a chat about how you can better help each other? A time when you're getting on fine and there are no arguments is always best. Sometimes we have to step away from certain subjects (like her boyfriend) if it causes arguments and tension (unless of course you think she is in danger).

    Your parents sound supportive too so do lean on them if you need to.

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    • #3
      Yeah, my parents are amazing and they really care for me and my sisters, but it's too much going on for them now and I don't want to add them my problems when I know they have to deal with greater ones.
      I read those articles and I guess I'll try some of the things. And about that friend of mine, we didn't totaly lose contact 'case we have shared chatroom with our friend whose on exchange program in Canada, so we still like talk together, but it's like I don't exist for her anymore. We've been meeting only in school, but now that I stay at home most of the time, we barely see each other. But I guess she just needs time to calm down. It isn't first time. We were friends for two years, then we didn't spoke for almost a year and as this school year started she acts like were friends again. As if she didn't ignore me for that whole time. I get little confused of her sometimes, but I think we parted for good. I can't take problems of another person. At least not now.

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      • #4
        Stygimoloch I know it can be hard but you're doing the right thing by prioritising yourself in the friendship. Ultimately if it's all out f balance you'll end up feeling worse. How are you in developing new friendships?

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        • #5
          Worst of worst :-/ I'm socially awkward and I don't really enjoy being with more than two people at once. I have two other girls I sometimes meet up with, but they go to different schools so it's hard to find time. With one of them I've spent a lot of time lately 'cause we work on music playlist together. I met both of them during last year, but with Miriam we knew each other for almost five years now. I don't get that girl sometimes, I know she has lot of problems, but never listens to my opinion. She always just came to and wanted "advice" but if I didn't told her what she wanted to hear, she just got pissed of. I know that friendship is about tolerance, but she never tolerated what I like or want to talk about and when she did something I didn't agree with, I just said "Ok, it's your choice, but if U care about my opinion it's a bad idea. " But she was able to spend next three hours trying to convice me that she is right. Where's a tolerance there? I never persuaded her to change opinion or to agree with me, but like heck if she would listen even if I tried.
          I get that her personality is different from mine, but also her jokes we're little too much for me sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm most sarcastic person in here, but what she did was overboard even for me. She mocked me for not taking (I forgot how the word is in English, I mean the smaller meal between breakfast and lunch) and she called me anorectic multiple times. I get that she meant it like a joke, but I really didn't felt comfortable with it. And she didn't stop when I told her to. I felt sorry for her 'cause nobody else wanted to be with her because of her behavior, but what is too much is too much.
          I still felt kinda bad for not supporting her anymore, but I'm not okay now and I don't feel like I can take care of all of my problems, so helping her is totally out of my mind now.

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