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Why Do People Think I'm Stupid?

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    I recently left for college (yay! -_-), and I am going to be a nursing major. The nursing workload is pretty intense so I've been trying to find some people on my floor who are also in nursing to see if we could study or something. As it turns out my "neighbor" is a nursing major. The only problem is that at literally every opportunity she keeps explaining basic concepts to me (ex. how football is played, which I already knew) and makes me feel badly about myself. Soooo basically I'm trapped to deal with this person (I'm pretty passive and just kinda go with and tune out what she is saying because, I keep telling myself, I don't and shouldn't care what she says because she's not anyone important to me...but she does get under my skin). Any suggestions on how to deal with her?
    Hey BlueSky!

    Congratulations on starting college! Woot!

    First, it sounds like you don't really want to spend too much time with this person... so you don't have to! It's definitely helpful to be able to have study partner, but is there a way they can remain just that?

    It sounds like this person just assumes other people don't know these things. It may not be obvious that you understand the game of football, for example. Also, it may be that they need to feel like they know more than someone else, in order to feel good about themselves/important/worthy of a friendship.

    You don't have to sit through her explanations, if you don't want to. You can gently show them that you know about these concepts, too. And maybe you can have a discussion about topics-- not just her informing/teaching you.

    It doesn't sound like this person is trying to make you feel bad (though I could be wrong!)... but maybe you could share with her that you like discussions where you respect each person's intellectual understanding, and aim to learn from each other, as peers.

    Here's an article on conflict resolution... in case you want to bring this up with her. It might help your relationship to her, in the future, and also, help give her an opportunity to grow as a person:

    https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/

    Hope this helps!


    -willow

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