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  • I got bullied for 8 years, very badly, and I cant let go of it.

    I get flashbacks to the point where I can smell the grass from the specific day I'm remembering of being beat up, the worst time I got beat up. I can remember their voices, and me panicking and losing my breath. I remember the wetness of the ground and how it felt against my skin and how their kicks dug into my ribs and their fists bouncing off of me. I remember it all. I lie in bed and it's like I was in a war or something. I'm scared I will never get over this, that I will have to live with this burden for the rest of my life and I can't do anything about it. I'm scared. Please give me advice, I've tried so many websites just trying to talk to someone, and no one replies. I'm okay. I just want to know someone hears.

  • #2
    Hi KayleyG03 and I'm glad you found us. I hear you and your thoughts and reactions are completely valid. It can take some time to move forward but it is possible - one of the first steps is to truly understand that none of it in any way was your fault. I say this as we can unintentionally hold onto negative ways of thinking.
    It also may help to understand that those that bully others are often deeply unhappy but you deserve to live your best life and be happy.
    What are you good at? What do you like to do?


    • Kayleyg03
      Kayleyg03 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hiya, thank you for replying to me I love to sing, and it's actually going really well! I'm famous where I'm from which is petty cool and a video of me has 4 million views I really love singing. It's my passion. And I understand that people may have a lot going on at home or behind closed curtains, and I don't hate them for what they did. It makes me sad for them, but I don't hate them. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone else, not even those who did it to me. Life can be really challenging for me now, and sometimes I just wish I could turn off the anxiety but I can't, and that's because of them. Therefore, I don't like them, but I don't hate them.

    • Sidekick
      Sidekick commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi KayleyGO3. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. But you're not alone. Everyone gets bullied some time in their life. It's not right, but sadly it happens.

      Sadly you will never be able to forget what you went through, but understand it was not your fault, and you didn't do anything to deserve it or provoke it. Some kids and adults are just mean.

      But you need to stop thinking about it. Stop dwelling on it. My older sister is in her 60's and she still talks about bullies from 1st grade or in HS. She isn't doing herself any favors dwelling on it. I know it's hard, but we all have to just move on and stop thinking about things that hurt us or messed us up. What good does it do us to think about it. Nothing. It just pulls you back into the past.

      I was always the one standing up to the bullies and trying to stop them. I ran Into a classmate about 3 years ago that was always getting beat up when we were in grade school (many years ago). In fact the bullies broke his arm during one of those times. We went our separate ways in 9th grade since we changed schools. When I ran into him after all those year, I truly thought he would be scarred from what happened to him. Instead he was confident, nice and a very generous guy. He owned his own business and is always giving back. In fact, I went to a reunion with those people and he was friends with all of them. I couldn't believe it. I would never have talked to those bullies. I'm guessing things either got better in HS or he just didn't let him bother him.

      Have you tried therapy? There are lots of books out there, or the internet has lots and lots of articles that you can read and see how you can better deal with all those issues you now have from the bullying.

      There are a lot of self help books. Find a hobby, work out, do something that builds your confidence up, and helps you stay busy so you aren't always thinking about it.

      You know the worst part about bullying (besides what you went through). Those bullies go on with their lives as if nothing ever happened, never giving it a second thought. All while the person who was bullied has to live with that the rest of his/her life. And if you asked them about it, or told them what they did to you. They would say they were just kidding, or had no idea how much they hurt you.

      I have a friend whose husband got a call in his 30's from a classmate who called to tell him how much he ruined his life in HS. Apparently her husband was a mean bully. I'm sure that made him feel horrible, but I'm also sure my friend's husband doesn't lose sleep over that call. I've known him for almost 30 years now and I would have never thought he was a bully.

      Again, I'm so sorry for what you had to go through and are still dealing with.

      Hang in there. Maybe you should try meditation and yoga. Figure out a way to quiet your brain and mind so you're not always thinking about what you went though. You need to figure out how to be happy and move on. You deserve to be happy.

  • #3
    Wow - your singing sounds amazing! 4 million views too - thats like the equivalent of the population of Croatia!

    You have such a good understanding of bullying and agree that you don't have to like people even if you understand why it can happen. It's also important for people to own their actions if they are bullying others - they can still get help and move on but it's important to understand how actions / words hurt people.

    What are your easter plans?


    • Sidekick
      Sidekick commented
      Editing a comment
      I just saw your post about your singing. Good for you. I'm so glad you have something that obviously gives you confidence and makes you feel good, and something that you enjoy.

      You know, there are so many celebrities and athletes that will tell you they were bullied. Like I said, I don't know very many people that didn't deal with some form of bullying in their lives. I know it doesn't make you feel any better, but again, know you aren't alone with what you are dealing with.

      I just wish kids and adults would stop doing it. And that teachers and other people would stop it the minute they hear about it or see it. And there was some sort of punishment for doing it. I was telling you about a guy in grade school who was always getting bullied. I went and told our teacher (male) about it happening one day and to stop it. And he didn't do one thing. I was so upset. I couldn't believe he did nothing to stop it. It made me sick. I obviously still think about it once in a while. Yet that guy seems to have moved on. Or puts on a brave front.

      You are still young, there is a saying, time heals all wounds. Hopefully with time you will move on and stop thinking about the bullying so much. And live a productive and happy life.

      Happy belated birthday. I'm glad you have a wonder bestfriend and brother. That is great. Not everyone has that.

      Good luck to you.

  • #4
    Thank you It's nice to know someone understands... My Easter is going great, It was my birthday yesterday and I turned 16, and I live in Ireland which means I can legally get a tattoo with parental consent!! So that's what I did! I also got a ukelele Then at night my friends came over and we had a house party And today was my brothers birthday and he turned 21 (I was his 5th birthday present lol and he named me) Me and my brother are best friends, he's honestly my idol. For his birthday we stayed at home and done whatever he wanted for the day It was great I have one more week before I have to go back to school then I have 5 weeks left in school and then I have 3 months off for summer!!! I cannot wait, even though I'll be doing my leaving cert once I'm finished the summer

    Thanks for replying to me, it helps a lot. -Kayley.


    • #5
      Hey Kayleyg03
      Thank you for sharing all of that with us here on the community, I know you sharing your story is helping other young people that have been through this.
      So glad you had a good Easter sounds super fun and happy birthday! It's so nice to hear you had such a great older brother!
      Wow you get soo long off for summer (lucky) have you got any plans yet for the summer holiday?



      • Kayleyg03
        Kayleyg03 commented
        Editing a comment
        Heya! Yes we're really lucky to get so long off, for Summer we get 3 whole months in Ireland So far I don't have much plans but I've made a lot of new friends recently so I know I wont be alone, that's something at least.