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I got bullied for 8 years, very badly, and I cant let go of it.

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    I get flashbacks to the point where I can smell the grass from the specific day I'm remembering of being beat up, the worst time I got beat up. I can remember their voices, and me panicking and losing my breath. I remember the wetness of the ground and how it felt against my skin and how their kicks dug into my ribs and their fists bouncing off of me. I remember it all. I lie in bed and it's like I was in a war or something. I'm scared I will never get over this, that I will have to live with this burden for the rest of my life and I can't do anything about it. I'm scared. Please give me advice, I've tried so many websites just trying to talk to someone, and no one replies. I'm okay. I just want to know someone hears.
    Hi KayleyG03 and I'm glad you found us. I hear you and your thoughts and reactions are completely valid. It can take some time to move forward but it is possible - one of the first steps is to truly understand that none of it in any way was your fault. I say this as we can unintentionally hold onto negative ways of thinking.
    It also may help to understand that those that bully others are often deeply unhappy but you deserve to live your best life and be happy.
    What are you good at? What do you like to do?

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    • Kayleyg03
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      Hiya, thank you for replying to me I love to sing, and it's actually going really well! I'm famous where I'm from which is petty cool and a video of me has 4 million views I really love singing. It's my passion. And I understand that people may have a lot going on at home or behind closed curtains, and I don't hate them for what they did. It makes me sad for them, but I don't hate them. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone else, not even those who did it to me. Life can be really challenging for me now, and sometimes I just wish I could turn off the anxiety but I can't, and that's because of them. Therefore, I don't like them, but I don't hate them.
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    • Kayleyg03
      Editing a comment
      Hiya, thank you for replying to me I love to sing, and it's actually going really well! I'm famous where I'm from which is petty cool and a video of me has 4 million views I really love singing. It's my passion. And I understand that people may have a lot going on at home or behind closed curtains, and I don't hate them for what they did. It makes me sad for them, but I don't hate them. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone else, not even those who did it to me. Life can be really challenging for me now, and sometimes I just wish I could turn off the anxiety but I can't, and that's because of them. Therefore, I don't like them, but I don't hate them.
    Wow - your singing sounds amazing! 4 million views too - thats like the equivalent of the population of Croatia!

    You have such a good understanding of bullying and agree that you don't have to like people even if you understand why it can happen. It's also important for people to own their actions if they are bullying others - they can still get help and move on but it's important to understand how actions / words hurt people.

    What are your easter plans?

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        Thank you It's nice to know someone understands... My Easter is going great, It was my birthday yesterday and I turned 16, and I live in Ireland which means I can legally get a tattoo with parental consent!! So that's what I did! I also got a ukelele Then at night my friends came over and we had a house party And today was my brothers birthday and he turned 21 (I was his 5th birthday present lol and he named me) Me and my brother are best friends, he's honestly my idol. For his birthday we stayed at home and done whatever he wanted for the day It was great I have one more week before I have to go back to school then I have 5 weeks left in school and then I have 3 months off for summer!!! I cannot wait, even though I'll be doing my leaving cert once I'm finished the summer

        Thanks for replying to me, it helps a lot. -Kayley.

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