Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

How do I know how I identify?

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    I am 14 and I might be bi. I'm not sure if I am gay and just holding on to any hope of being straight. In my head, I am attracted to girls (same gender), but the one female "crush" I had was on my friend and I was forcing myself to feel the attraction. I don't know what to think. I used to have crushes on guys, but now I don't like anyone.
    Hey there Alicorn

    A big welcome to our community

    So when we are teenagers its so so so normal to have feelings for both genders you are just beginning to figure your sexuality out, so you may be bisexual but also you may not. Don't rush to put any labels on it all yet as it is never that black and white. Don't force yourself to feel anything as ultimately it won't work but remember this is a time where all of your hormones are racing and so what you are feeling is entirely normal.
    Just try to enjoy the ride and see where it takes you.

    Remi

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        Thanks. I am in a GSA club at my school, and people have started to come out to the group. I hate having this secret inside of me that no one knows about, but I also can't even begin to imagine coming out. Right now my sexuality doesn't seem like that much of a real thing since it's just in my head. Sometimes I just feel like I need to tell someone, but that would actually make it so much more real. I'm pretty sure my friends would be accepting, but I feel like it would change everything. I don't want anyone to look at me differently.

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            I suggest not doing saying anything to anyone until you feel certain this is what you want and you know whats happening.

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                Hey Alicorn,

                It sounds like in the GSA there are lots of supportive people that would understand that you are still questioning as i'm sure if they are out they have been through a similar thought process.

                I understand why you want to tell people but are scared that it may change things. But remember you have told someone, you have told us.

                I would suggest right down how you are feeling right now, in a journal and then you can build up to sharing it with someone else in the group in the next few weeks if you would like to.

                How does that sound?

                -Remi

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