Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

Ask me Anything - Sexuality, Relationships and Coming Out with Saski

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    Hey everyone!

    I'm Saski! I am a Pride host, singer, and LGBT+ advocate and educator!

    Throughout April, I want you lot to 'Ask me Anything' about sexuality, identity coming out, pride or anything else you can think of and I promise to get back to all of you!

    Saski x
    hi! i'm a teenager from Poland. i've just discovered this page and i'm really happy. but there are some thing that i don't know how to handle. for example, i smacked a girl and a boy and i felt really uncomfortable. i talked to my mum, and she said that it was normal reaction of my body and i'm not old enough for relationship which i agree. but i don't know my sexuality. in fact, my best friend tells me about boys and i don't really care. is that okay? i'm just trying to discover myself for 100% which isn't possible in my age. so, here's my question: is there anything i should do?
    ps: sorry for my english
    kisses, julia

    Comment


    • Saski
      Editing a comment
      Hey Julia!

      Thanks for your question!

      It's totally ok and regular to feel like that so don't worry!

      Here's the thing, we all have different experiences when it comes to discovering our sexuality, and it isn't something that can be forced, it just happens naturally. So if for now, you don't feel attracted to anyone don't stress. It's not even about your age, it's about when that person comes into your life, you'll just know that you feel attracted to them (whatever gender they happen to be)

      I'm not sure if any of us ever really discover ourselves 100% because we are constantly evolving and changing as life happens (which can be quite exciting) I would say just focus on being you and doing things that make you happy and you'll know when it feels right to you.

      Now that you have discovered this page and forum, you know where we are if you ever want to chat more!

      Take it easy and keep smiling, everything will fall into place eventually!

      Saski
  • Comment


    • Saski
      Editing a comment
      Hey Julia!

      Thanks for your question!

      It's totally ok and regular to feel like that so don't worry!

      Here's the thing, we all have different experiences when it comes to discovering our sexuality, and it isn't something that can be forced, it just happens naturally. So if for now, you don't feel attracted to anyone don't stress. It's not even about your age, it's about when that person comes into your life, you'll just know that you feel attracted to them (whatever gender they happen to be)

      I'm not sure if any of us ever really discover ourselves 100% because we are constantly evolving and changing as life happens (which can be quite exciting) I would say just focus on being you and doing things that make you happy and you'll know when it feels right to you.

      Now that you have discovered this page and forum, you know where we are if you ever want to chat more!

      Take it easy and keep smiling, everything will fall into place eventually!

      Saski
    Hi. I came out to one person yesterday. I'm bi and she's pan, and I think I might like her. She's a new friend of mine, but we get along well. Today everything was really awkward between us. I don't know what to do. It's like both of us coming out to each other created some sort of rift between us. What should I do?

    ~Alicorn

    Comment


    • Saski
      Editing a comment
      Hey Alicorn! (Cool name BTW)

      Sorry for the delay!

      I can understand you might feel a little awkward but actually, you should flip the awkwardness because its a really cool thing that you both 'came out' to each other.
      I think more, maybe because it's a new friendship, so you don't really know each other well enough yet, but the more you hang out that will change. My advice would be, to be open and talk to her about it. For example, you might wanna say next time, "Hey I'm so pleased we came out to each other, it's cool that we can be open about who we are" (Because actually not being able to be 'out' often holds a person back from truly being themselves so this is great for you both!)

      Next part...so you think you might fancy her. Don't stress, this is fine too! BUT I would say if you're currently feeling awkward, hold off on taking the next step until you feel more confident in your friendship first. Often you get a sense if someone fancies you (And sometimes there's no clue, which is a bummer) however once you establish your friendship more, I bet you'll have a better idea of how to play it in terms of telling her how you feel or not.

      Whatever happens, just try and relax and be yourself, as that will give you more confidence in who you are and will work well for you in any future relationships, romantic or platonic etc.

      #Alwaysbeyourself

      I hope that helps ;-)
  • Comment


    • Saski
      Editing a comment
      Hey Alicorn! (Cool name BTW)

      Sorry for the delay!

      I can understand you might feel a little awkward but actually, you should flip the awkwardness because its a really cool thing that you both 'came out' to each other.
      I think more, maybe because it's a new friendship, so you don't really know each other well enough yet, but the more you hang out that will change. My advice would be, to be open and talk to her about it. For example, you might wanna say next time, "Hey I'm so pleased we came out to each other, it's cool that we can be open about who we are" (Because actually not being able to be 'out' often holds a person back from truly being themselves so this is great for you both!)

      Next part...so you think you might fancy her. Don't stress, this is fine too! BUT I would say if you're currently feeling awkward, hold off on taking the next step until you feel more confident in your friendship first. Often you get a sense if someone fancies you (And sometimes there's no clue, which is a bummer) however once you establish your friendship more, I bet you'll have a better idea of how to play it in terms of telling her how you feel or not.

      Whatever happens, just try and relax and be yourself, as that will give you more confidence in who you are and will work well for you in any future relationships, romantic or platonic etc.

      #Alwaysbeyourself

      I hope that helps ;-)
    hi, I'm a girl. I started questioning myself at 14 because I liked a girl who was my close friend back then. I know why I was attracted to her, I've been crushing on her for about 3 years and still counting . I don't know why I never felt any attraction towards boys? I mean, I love seeing their handsome faces but that's it, nothing pulls me to them.... Until this day, I'm still confused, and I know my parents won't accept me if I really turn out to be bi/gay. Any advice/thoughts? Thanks

    Comment


    • Saski
      Editing a comment
      Hey ace204 !

      Thanks for your question, you will be relieved to hear that this is a common and regular occurrence for a lot of people and it's totally ok if you are lesbian or Bi. I'll answer this in two parts.

      Firstly, let's talk Sexual Orientation, I mentioned in an answer earlier that we are all on a spectrum when it comes to Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. For example, as far as sexual attraction goes it's out of our control. We don't choose who we fancy and believe me if I could there would be a long queue of woman out the door, I can tell you! ;-)

      So if your feeling attracted to girls only, that's totally regular and fine. It's just about accepting it and getting used to your sexuality. Once you feel more confident in that, you will feel more content about who you are as a person and it won't feel like such a big deal. If you have any close friends, family members, teachers or youth workers (or obviously on here) that you can talk to about this too, that will help you to feel more confident around whether your Bi or Lesbian.

      Secondly - Parents and Coming Out
      I totally understand that this can be a stressful time, I have been there too!

      For now, I would say try not to focus too much about what your parents would say because at this stage you're still working out who you are. I promise you will get to a point where you are confident in your sexual orientation and once that happens you will know when the right time to come out will be. To help you along this journey, maybe check out online to see if there are any local LGBTQI+ Youth Groups in your area or other online LGBTQI+ Youth forums so you can chat with other young people who are going through similar issues.

      Also, you could ask a teacher that you feel comfortable with to look into setting up a PRIDE Youth Network in your school (link below) Its an equality group for all students to help raise LGBTQI+ awareness and support equality for everyone. This is also another way to meet likeminded friends in school. The more LGBTQI+ people or friends and allies you know the more you will feel comfortable in being yourself and that will help you to be more confident with your sexuality.


      You never know, your parents might actually be very accepting, but either way, its good to have other forms of support around for you in place too as you are the most important person in this.

      Here is the PYN link: http://www.educateandcelebrate.org/pride-youth-network/ and if your London based check out Mosaic Youth https://mosaicyouth.org.uk (otherwise have a google for groups in your area)

      I hope this helps, remember #Alwaysbeyourself things will eventually get better ;-)
  • Comment


    • Saski
      Editing a comment
      Hey ace204 !

      Thanks for your question, you will be relieved to hear that this is a common and regular occurrence for a lot of people and it's totally ok if you are lesbian or Bi. I'll answer this in two parts.

      Firstly, let's talk Sexual Orientation, I mentioned in an answer earlier that we are all on a spectrum when it comes to Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. For example, as far as sexual attraction goes it's out of our control. We don't choose who we fancy and believe me if I could there would be a long queue of woman out the door, I can tell you! ;-)

      So if your feeling attracted to girls only, that's totally regular and fine. It's just about accepting it and getting used to your sexuality. Once you feel more confident in that, you will feel more content about who you are as a person and it won't feel like such a big deal. If you have any close friends, family members, teachers or youth workers (or obviously on here) that you can talk to about this too, that will help you to feel more confident around whether your Bi or Lesbian.

      Secondly - Parents and Coming Out
      I totally understand that this can be a stressful time, I have been there too!

      For now, I would say try not to focus too much about what your parents would say because at this stage you're still working out who you are. I promise you will get to a point where you are confident in your sexual orientation and once that happens you will know when the right time to come out will be. To help you along this journey, maybe check out online to see if there are any local LGBTQI+ Youth Groups in your area or other online LGBTQI+ Youth forums so you can chat with other young people who are going through similar issues.

      Also, you could ask a teacher that you feel comfortable with to look into setting up a PRIDE Youth Network in your school (link below) Its an equality group for all students to help raise LGBTQI+ awareness and support equality for everyone. This is also another way to meet likeminded friends in school. The more LGBTQI+ people or friends and allies you know the more you will feel comfortable in being yourself and that will help you to be more confident with your sexuality.


      You never know, your parents might actually be very accepting, but either way, its good to have other forms of support around for you in place too as you are the most important person in this.

      Here is the PYN link: http://www.educateandcelebrate.org/pride-youth-network/ and if your London based check out Mosaic Youth https://mosaicyouth.org.uk (otherwise have a google for groups in your area)

      I hope this helps, remember #Alwaysbeyourself things will eventually get better ;-)
    Thanks for all of your questions so far, don't forget to Ask Saski absolutely anything to do with coming out, identity and sexuality here...

    She will be answering all of your qs throughout the month!

    pride coming out day GIF by ali mac

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