Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

I feel like I'm missing out

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    For the past while, I thought I was bi, but now I know I'm gay. I held on to the thought of maybe dating a guy, even though I knew deep down it didn't appeal to me. It just kind of hit me that I'll never have that perfect straight relationship portrayed in movies and books. I know it's stupid, but I feel like I'm missing out on the "caring boyfriend" or whatever I've been shown all my life.

    It's also occurred to me that I'll have to come out to my parents at some point. I'm out to my friends, but I don't know how I would tell my parents. I've found myself getting the urge to just blurt out, "I'm gay!" whenever I'm around them.

    Both of these thoughts have been bringing me down into a sort of depressed state. I'm having trouble focusing in school and doing just about everything. I really need to snap out of it. Any suggestions that might help?

    ~Alicorn
    Alicorn Hey! I can completely understand why you would want to share this part of you with your loved ones. If you feel it would be a positive and supportive experience it might help you 'let go' of the 'perfect straight relationship' ideal which lets be honest, we are all force fed from very early on!

    There are so many people living happy lives where they love and are loved regardless whether their partners are male/female/trans/NB. You can absolutely enjoy a fulfilling relationship that will tick all these boxes.

    We need way more visibility across the media / TV / films etc to truly represent everyone and I think people would feel less down about it.

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        I relate so much to this: for a long time I've gone by bisexual. I came out to my mom literally a few weeks ago, I'll go into that in a moment... But right now, as of writing this, I'm questioning whether I'm gay or not (which sucks because I'm in a relationship with a guy). I feel like I'm edging for to girls than guys, the guy life doesn't appeal to me. So you're not the only one.
        Now, coming out to parents: I sort of came out to mine by accident. I was at the doctors and they asked if I was in a relationship, so I said yes. That's the first part. On our way home, we were walking down the street and I literally just said to her 'so I'm not exactly straight', and that was that. People have done it in all sorts of ways, my friend told her parents in the car so she couldn't see their reactions; you could text your mom/dad whilst you're out (you can do any of these with friends too); you could leave a note for your parents to find and read; you could simply bring up LGBT in conversation and then tell them. But, trust me, you'll instinctively know when to do it.
        Considering movies and stuff, sod them, love is love *period*. If you love a girl, you love a girl, if you love a guy, you love a guy. Simple as. If it helps, my boyfriend is transgender (female -> male, so it really doesn't matter who you fall in love with). You're not missing out, your relationship is yours, its unique to you, its special to you and your partner. Films are just there to portray the typical, the stereotypical, the expectations of society, and only now are films and tv shows bringing in LGBT relationships. One of my favourite shows has a girl x girl relationship, so society is moving in the right direction slowly.
        I hope this helps, it's a lot, but I hope it's ok

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            Thanks Marv

            It's so helpful for you to share your coming out experiences with everyone in our community as it really empowers people to hear that other people have had a positive experience.

            -Remi

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            • Marv
              Editing a comment
              Sending my love. All I want to do is help Glad I can
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            • Marv
              Editing a comment
              Sending my love. All I want to do is help Glad I can

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