Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

I'm on the verge of giving up

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    I'm a 20-year-old white male college student and I'm worried that I'm going to go another semester without friends and without love. The only friends I currently have are back home and not going to the same college with me. I just feel really alone. I've got no confidence, very little self-esteem, I'm boring, I'm shy, I'm a mean person, etc.

    Super unappealing, right?

    Well, no matter how many times I tell myself to just come to terms with the fact that I'm destined to be alone, I just can't seem to do it. Maybe there's a miniscule section of my brain that still has hope. I can't seem to kill that part yet, so I don't know what to do.

    No one knows me, yet I'm seen by around 100-200 students daily, since I've worked at an on-campus convenience store. What makes it worse is that the other workers (who aren't students) are hit on, flirted with, and friends with the students. Meanwhile, I can barely make people smile.

    The female cashier (who I'm probably the closest with, despite us rarely talking outside of work) says that I'm a nice person who just needs confidence. I just don't know how to get that, though. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find success.

    I'm also comparing myself to people in my circle. My older brother began dating his now-wife when he was 18. They're now 27. My closest friend back home has dated multiple girls since he was a teen. My family all seemed to find someone at around 18 (even if they weren't soulmates, it was still another human) and yet I've never even held hands with a girl. I can't do anything right.

    So yeah, that's my situation. I have no friends on campus, no love life, no one that would care if I was gone (aside from family, but they don't count), and nothing that really matters. The biggest thing I have to strive for is succeeding in school. But that's not all I want to have. I want to have fun, experience love, a first kiss, that sort of think. I don't care about sex, but I wanted a companion. Someone I can talk to. Someone that genuinely enjoys being in my presence.

    But at this point, have been unsuccessful for two years, I'm pretty much at the point where giving up on finding friends or love is the right thing to do. So what should I do?

    (Also, sorry for rambling. I've been bottling this up and I really wasn't sure how to word it properly. I'm willing to clear up any confusion.)

    ((Also also, I go to Wright State University on the off chance that anyone here also goes there and would like to talk. Though I doubt anyone would want to talk to me))
    Love is a hard thing to find and it takes time, I think you have stop searching for it, just let it come to you. Don't try so hard to find something that doesn't often show itself. It's like playing hide and seek with someone you can find once in one hundred games. You have to wait for it to present itself to you.
    No worries about the ramble, I do it sometimes too, I think there is someone watching you from a distance admiring you but being to shy to tell you, to be honest most people are so dense to things like this and don't notice when other people try to flirt and stuff. I don't mean any offense by that, everyone is dense in some way. Sorry this sounds harsh... Just try be a bit more observant about somethings if you decide to not let it come to you.

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        IHATEME1478

        I mean, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to just not let it bother me. But I see happy couples everywhere on campus. Holding hands, walking and smiling together, and just enjoying each other's company. That's what I want. I'm happy that other people are happy and would never dream of taking that away from them. No one deserves to feel as lonely (or lonelier) as I do.

        I just wish there was something I could do to jump start it, ya know? Family always tells me that it takes time, but I didn't know I had to wait until I'm 30 to even get a chance. Dates are something I want to experience, I crave romance and intimacy. I want to make someone happy and them me.

        This might be my selfishness talking. Also, I am indeed dense in a lot of aspects. However, love is not one of them. Obviously if someone liked me, I'd notice a difference between how that person treats me and how every other girl treats me. Maybe there's a reason why nothing has changed, but I don't know what it is.

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            SenatorConfer hey! I thin it's healthy to express how you feel and unpick it all. No ones life journey is the same - some yes, will find 'the one' when they're 18 and others may have lots of wonderful relationships but remain happily single or find love later in life. There is literally no set template.

            I'd suggest taking the pressure off, step back and take a breath. Concentrate on developing friendships, join clubs, take up a sport or hobby to widen your social circle and meet some new people. I think that if we try too hard to find someone, even without realising people can pick up on this and most relationships start pretty casually and friendly.

            We're always here!



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                Blondie

                I would like to make friends, but it seems like I can't do it. All day today, I've been thinking about how no one on campus would care if I were to die. I wouldn't even be checked on until the smell became too unbearable for my apartment roommates.

                I just wish it was easy to make friends. I'm not in elementary school anymore. People come to college with their friends and/or significant others. I'm simply all alone. And it sucks. It really does. I just wish I had someone that wanted to be my friend/girlfriend, but I wouldn't want to force them to do something that would make them unhappy (and hanging out with me would certainly be the worst thing they could do).

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