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  • I don't know what I am, any help is accepted

    I would like to know what I am exactly, I'm not the type of person to say anything about what I'm feeling when talking face to face or on here, I don't know why but I always internalize my problems and try to figure it out myself. But I can't internalize this anymore I want help.
    I have no idea what I like exactly, I see my self looking at girls mostly but I had some times found interest in guys but hardly any. I didn't know about the Lgbt+ Comunity till 9th grade, I haven't really questioned it till 11-12. I said I was Bisexual maybe Pansexual but it didn't feel right to me it doesn't feel weird just not me.
    I had friends with guys and found it super easy to be friends with them but that what they always were I only had one or two guys I've was close to that I like romanticly. But it was hard to find a girl to talk to or to be friends with them but when I did I just wanted to be with them more often than anything. I didn't know what a crush was to start with I'm never open about my emotions to hardly anyone. maybe I'm only into girls or I'm mostly into females and it's an 80/20 I don't know, I want to know.
    Also about me saying I'm Pansexual is because I don't really care what you look like or anything about you physically just as long as you love me and I love you. Which is true but I don't think that enough to say I'm Pan, maybe that's why it doesn't feel right when I say that about myself like it's not me.
    I want any help with this, any advice. I'll try to replay or answer any questions as best or as fast as I can.

  • #2
    Hi,
    I relate to this sooo much.
    So, for a few years I went by bisexual. As I found out more about sexuality and the LGBT community, looked into things, started reading around sexuality topics, I realised that, for me, it was more complicated than just bisexual. I'm female, and I really like girls. Simple as. Daily, I find girls attractive, I've just started university and already I have my eyes on a girl. I've come here and told people I've been going by bisexual, but I THINK I'm lesbian. Sexuality is complex, fluid, it can be difficult to figure out. It's taken me ages to figure it out, and truly, I don't think I've fully grasped my sexuality yet. The thing is, I've only 'liked' two guys (I'm nearing 19) and I've liked several girls. I'm not sure if I 'liked' these guys because being lesbian freaked me out, or if I actually liked them. If I were to put it like you have, a year ago I'd have said 90/10 (90 to females), but now I'm seriously considering the possibility that I'm lesbian.
    I tell you all this because my point is: it doesn't matter too much if you don't work it out. Some people work themselves out at 12 years old, I'm nearly 19 and I don't fully understand myself. There's no rush to working yourself out. It feels better to have this, that or the other, but truly, at the end of the day, who you fall in love with is who you fall in love with, ya know? Whether they're same sex/gender or not, if you like them, you like them.

    I hope this helps in some way? And I hope what I've said makes sense and it somewhat clear haha.

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    • #3
      I am also nearing 19, and I also only dated 2 guys, the first one was 9th grade and two years later I dated another guy around 11th grade (not for very long) and like I said I wasn't introduced to the LGBT+ for a while, but your comment help me in a way, tho I not sure how to put it but it did. So thank you

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      • #4
        I've only dated one guy. I've only ever found two guys attractive, I'd say 99% of the time I find girls attractive.
        But honestly, don't worry yourself about it. You'll find your feet
        I'm glad it helped.

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        • #5
          This is... I’m in the same boat. You (probably) won’t know until you try, and as long as you make it clear to the partner in question that it’s new ground for you, they should understand.

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