Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

Being a bi in a 'homophobic country', should i come out?

Community Sexuality, Dating & Relationships Being a bi in a 'homophobic country', should i come out?

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #18754
    Avatar of banditosbianca
    amy23
    Participant

    Hi, i’m 25 years old and identify myself as bisexual woman.
    Now i’m in a 7 years relationship with a man (who is my first ‘male’ love). I told him i fell in love with several girls in past life. Eventhough I don’t say to the point if I’m bisexual, his reaction seems okay.
    Lately, I was thinking, there is a ‘strong desire’ to come out and it bothering me so much. I want people to know who really I am. Fyi, I live in homophobic country. The government and most of people, they treat LGBT like a garbage.
    Beside on my story, should I come out, eventhough I have a boyfriend, and people see me have a normal life? Is it come out still necessary for me?
    Thanks.

    #18794
    Avatar of peach311
    peach311
    Participant

    Hey

    Thank you for your post and welcome to Community. I totally understand why it is bothering you. A hard part of being bi is the invisibility that comes with it, as people assume depending on the gender of your partner that you are either heterosexual or homosexual. Your wellbeing and safety are the most important thing and I want to make sure whatever you do decide you are safe.

    Based on what you have said the reason it is bothering you is that any life where we are having to hide parts of ourselves/identity always leads to a sense of unease and discomfort. If you can come out and feel safe with loved ones my advice would be to take that action. Holding secrets is painful and you deserve to live an authentic life.

    Would you be putting yourself at risk by coming out?

    Sending positivity and support.
    -Peach311

    #18934
    Avatar of jayb
    jayb
    Participant

    Hey

    I dated somebody who was bi and I only found out after being together for about 8 months. At first, it took me a while to get my head around it and then it didn’t matter, she loved me and wanted to be with me and I admired her honesty. Plus it helped me understand her more.

    I don’t know what the right thing for you is to do and I hate that there are places that are still very homophobic and you could be at risk by coming out that is not fair and you deserve better we all do.

    Thinking of you.

    #19098
    Avatar of banditosbianca
    amy23
    Participant

    Hey Peach311 and JAYB,

    I decided not to come out because just now (really now) our House of Representatives is drafting a law that LGBT activities are criminal and can be imprisoned (wtf?!)

    Thank you so much, your opinion is really matters for me, because i don’t know who else to tell about this 🙂

    #19116
    Avatar of peach311
    peach311
    Participant

    Hey Amy23,

    You can always talk about anything or everything here and we care about what you are going through.

    That sounds like a safe decision and the right move to keep yourself protected. Have you heard of an organisation called Stonewall: http://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-and-advice

    Their mission is: to let all lesbian, gay, bi and trans people, here and abroad, know they’re not alone. Do reach out them as well if ever need more support.

    Sending positivity.

    -Peach311

    #19188
    Avatar of louise19
    louise19
    Participant

    I can’t believe this and I hope you are doing ok.

    #19973
    Avatar of cowboycharles
    cowboycharles
    Participant

    hi my name is charles and i think i know a little something about “country”. i beileve in you <3

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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