Sexuality, Dating & Relationships

how do you know if ur gay or lesbian or whatever

Community Sexuality, Dating & Relationships how do you know if ur gay or lesbian or whatever

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #16634
    Avatar of bingabong
    bingabong
    Participant

    How do you know??

    #16640
    Avatar of peach311
    peach311
    Keymaster

    Hey Bingabong,

    Really great question. Are you asking out of curiosity or because you are questioning your sexuality?

    If you ask around most people in answer to the question how do you know if you are gay, or how do you know you are straight for example? They will say I just do because I am sexually attracted to…. add whatever gender fits that person.

    I think what makes it all much harder to figure out is the pressure that comes from living in a heteronormative society. That just means that we are bombarded with messages from anywhere and everywhere that the ‘normal’ sexuality is heterosexuality. 😡

    It is slowly changing but generally, we are all assumed straight at birth and because of this damaging assumption there is this period of not knowing and trying to work out what feels right for you. If you are heterosexual everything aligns and you are good to go, no questioning or figuring out needed. This is also why I think heterosexual people can struggle to understand the importance and power of coming out, as their sexuality aligns with what society says is the ‘normal’ one. (even though there is no normal)

    If we were magically transported to an equal and fair society this whole process wouldn’t feel so confusing, overwhelming, scary and painful for so many of us.

    We have this awesome article with tips on questioning your sexuality if you haven’t read it, it might help:

    Putting the Q Into LGBTQ – 8 Things to Know About Questioning Your Sexuality

    Ultimately you are the one that chooses what feels right for you and your sexuality. I am a firm believer in staying open and curious about the whole process. In my experience, things get tricky and painful when we deny, hide or live in shame of our sexuality.

    Hope this helps, would love to hear what you think about how you figure it out?

    Sending positivity and support.
    -Peach311

    #16646
    Avatar of spacemonkey
    spacemonkey
    Participant

    I just found out by realizing I had a crush on a girl. Then, once I realized I was Bisexual, found myself having more crushes on girls. I’m still confused, but I’m only 12, so I’ve got a long way to go!

    #16663
    Avatar of louise19
    louise19
    Participant

    Hey Spacemonkey,

    I love your honesty. For me its all about going with what feels right for me and letting go of mine and others judgement.

    #17366
    Avatar of skeletonclique
    skeletonclique
    Participant

    Hi. To maybe help you understand, I’ll tell my story. So first, I got a gf. Pretty good, but then I felt ‘different’ do I looked into it further and realised I was bi. But now, I identify as gay. This brings hardships like coming out and breaking up with my gf. Hope this helps!

    Skeletonclique. 👋

    #17388
    Avatar of peach311
    peach311
    Keymaster

    Hey Skeletonclique,

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    I love that even though it can be a bit of a journey and not always easy it is nobody else’s decision but our own as to how we identify.

    🌈🌟

    -Peach311

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

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