Model, activist and overall good guy Max Hovey writes in one of our guest blogs about how to face up to and overcome your fears.
“The best way to get over your fears is to face them!” Ugh, really? When you’re scared of something, literally the LAST thing you want to do is that thing. But, as much as we all hate to hear that piece of advice, unfortunately it works.
For me, it was travel anxiety. The thought of going anywhere new, no matter how I’d get there, would make my heart go at 100 miles per hour and I would just feel sick. To be fair, I thought I’d literally never get over it, then I went on Celebs Go Dating (please, judge me) and everything started to change. For this I had no choice other than to travel, but it was all booked for me (so at least that one was one part that I didn’t have to deal with). This involved a train up to London, and then getting the underground to the venue. For the entire duration of this journey I was pretty much in panic mode but, once I was there, I was absolutely fine and felt like I’d accomplished something I was afraid of. And that was milestone number 1.
The next step was that I booked and arranged to travel to Belgium on the Eurostar (by myself!). Surprisingly this was actually super easy. I planned it all, figured it all out, and also didn’t get lost. I was only there for 3 days but still this could have been really daunting. However, after my more and more frequent travelling by train, I’d become confident and so I wasn’t actually as nervous about this. In fact, a large part of the anxiety had passed and I was allowing myself to feel excited. Ticked off milestone number 2.
The final stage was then flying by myself, and making my own way to the airport by train. I know this all sounds very dramatic, but for me it was super daunting and I know many other people that worry about it. It’s easy to panic about being in the right place, at the right time, going in the right direction, having all of the right things and so on. It’s the same as any fear; you overthink! On the surface, flying seems scarier but you literally cannot go wrong – unless you go to the wrong airport, but I mean like how? You can’t get on the wrong plane, they literally do not let you so its actually really straightforward. And so again, I did it. I got the train from my hometown with all of my luggage to London, and then the train down to Heathrow, followed by the process of flying by myself. Milestone number 3? Crushed it.
What I’ve learned from this is that overcoming your fears takes time. It will not happen overnight and it will take more than one act of bravery. For me it has been gradual; well over a year. Now, I’m comfortable travelling up to London all of the time by myself, constantly going to places that I’ve never even heard of and just taking it my stride. I never thought I’d have the confidence to do so, but I do. And if ever in doubt, just ask someone! To this day I still feel the need to double check with people and that’s ok.
So, if you want to get over your fear, then girl you’re gonna have to face it!
For more from Max, follow his Instagram @max_hovey.
Check out Max’s last article on being the last single friend in the group here.