There is nothing worse than that sinking feeling that comes with finding out you haven’t been invited to that party…😐
Being left out always sucks however it happens and with the evolution of social media and technology, there even more suckier and more public ways for it to happen then ever. Being excluded comes with a massive side order of anything from shame, humiliation, embarrassment and rejection.
Sadly, there are very few places that are talking about how to handle this kind of thing. Which is pretty ridiculous when you consider the lasting long term effects social exclusion can have on a person’s well being.
Here at Ditch the Label we’ve been there, we get it and here are some things you need to know…
It’s not always personal.
Even though being left out feels incredibly personal, that doesn’t actually mean that it is. There are a whole variety of reasons why you may not have been invited. What’s hard, is that we rarely get to find out why and it’s so easy to believe the worst, even if it is nothing personal! Nevertheless, social exclusion is a form of bullying and is very painful to endure. How we treat other people is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. However shiny and happy they might look on the surface, remember that everything is not always as it seems.
It happens to all of us.
Ask anyone over the age of 25 and we bet you they will be able to recall a really painful memory of being left out growing up. It is so easy to imagine you are the only one it has happened to. It won’t feel like this forever and over time you might even be able to look back and laugh at it all.
Part of the devastation that bullying causes is that it can dislocate us from our sense of belonging. Firstly from each other and then from ourselves. We are social animals that are hardwired to find happiness and comfort in being a part of something. Belonging is often at the core of our happiness which is why being left out hurts so much! 😰
Where our thoughts go, our feelings follow. Being uninvited or excluded can feel like anything from a sting to a direct stab in the heart. As a result, it is incredibly easy to lose perspective and dive head first into a spiral of fear and shame. When this happens it is so important to talk it through with someone you love and try to reframe your thinking. Why has it touched a nerve? Did you even want to be invited? Will this matter in a year? Asking questions like these can help you to process the situation and help you to think clearly.
At the beginning of this year we launched our Community because we recognised that feeling alone is one of hardest things to endure. We wanted a way to connect every single person out there who’s ever felt alone. You are never the only one.
Our Community is for anyone aged from 11-25. Whether you were bullied once, every day, for 3 years or were the person doing the bullying. Or maybe you have never been bullied but watched it happen to someone and never said anything. Maybe it even goes beyond bullying and you are petrified of coming out and don’t have a clue where to begin?! Maybe you are in pain and want it to stop but don’t know what to do…
Going through and dealing with bullying is just the tip of a very large and scary iceberg for so many of us and our community is for anyone that needs a safe space and a place to be heard, if it matters to you then it matters to Ditch the Label.