Forgiving: It’s easier said than done, right? When someone hurts or betrays you, it is natural to feel upset or angry. it’s so hard to let go of such painful feelings – especially if you feel that someone has broken your trust.
But take it from us: holding a grudge does nothing to change or improve the situation. Carrying around feelings of anger or resentment will only cause harm to your own mental well-being in the long run.
Here are Ditch the Label’s top 7 tips to help you move on:
1. Remember that everybody makes mistakes, including you!
We are all human and therefore, we are all prone to making mistakes. Nobody is perfect.
The good thing about making mistakes? We can learn from them. If someone is begging for your forgiveness, it could be because they have seen the error of their ways and that in itself, is something to acknowledge.
2. Forgive – not for their benefit, but for your own peace of mind!
Put yourself first! Forgive for your own sake – not theirs! They don’t even have to know you have forgiven them. The impact this will have on your mental wellbeing will be so beneficial; how can you move forward if you are still looking to the past?
3. Remember a time when you were forgiven
As I said, no one is perfect, and we have all made mistakes. Take inspiration from someone that found it in themselves to forgive you once upon a time. You get to be the bigger person now. Rise above it!
4. Remember what you liked about them
If you want to forgive someone that was once a friend, family member or partner – there must, at some point, have been something you liked about them. Try and think about them in a positive light – maybe they made you laugh, or were generous, or interesting to talk to. Love is the key to forgiveness, and forgiveness is the key to happiness.
5. Every time you think of them, breathe deeply and smile
A meditation of sorts. When you picture the person you want to forgive, try not to think about how they hurt you, but think of them and smile. You can even say the words ‘I forgive you’ as you do this. If you repeat this every day for five minutes, you will eventually free your mind of any negative thoughts, and make way for new, positive ones!
6. Understand you won’t be angry forever, so why hold on to something that’s going to go away anyway?
Time is a healer, and inevitably, feelings of anger or pain will eventually fade as you move on with your life. Knowing this valuable piece of information, doesn’t it make sense to free yourself of this burden sooner rather than later? Life is too short to waste time hatin’ on people.
7. Be kind instead of right
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Just because someone has behaved badly, does not mean you have to stoop to their level and retaliate, respond in an aggressive way. Be the bigger person. Be kind, not only to them but to yourself. Just look at Katie Kindness – she knows the drill:
We would always recommend distancing yourself from people who make you feel bad. This doesn’t mean you have to hate them or hold a grudge. Just work on other friendships, surround yourself with people who make you feel good and keep in mind that people can change, and you can forgive.
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