Top 10 Things Not to Say To a Blind Person by comedian Brian Fischler

10. Really? You can work a computer?
Yes, it is not 1950 out there. Assistive technology has gone mainstream. I can even work an iPhone too!

9. When I am with someone people will ask that person questions about me when I am right there.
That’s right blind people can speak for themselves. Believe it or not we can even order food for ourselves when in a restaurant!

8. How do you live?
In an apartment by myself. That’s right, jealous much? I get to do what I want whenever I want, and I don’t ever have to turn any lights on to do it.

7. People who start talking louder when around me.
Really, you do realise I am blind not deaf? Seriously you went to college and could not figure that out?

6. People who grab you and say “Let me help.”
Whoa easy there tough guy. What do you think is going to happen if you walk up on the street and grab a sighted person you do not know? You are probably going to get punched. The same thing will happen if you grab a blind guy without asking first. Believe it or not, blind people do not like to be grabbed by strangers on the street. Always ask first before touching…

5. Guess who it is?
For some reason it is always someone I have met once or twice who says this. Yes, blind people do not have everyone they have ever met voice committed to memory. Sorry to disappoint. Even if we do know you, do not come up as if it is a game to guess who you are, it is not a game to us.

4. For those of us who walk with a white cane and have it folded up “Nice pool cue.”
Leave the comedy to us professionals. Would you say to someone in a wheelchair nice Go-Kart? I do not think so.

3. This conversation:
“Are you training that dog?”
“No I am blind.”
“Really? You don’t look blind.”
Seriously what does a blind person look like? Believe it or not blind people come in all races, religions, height, weight, sex, and nationalities…

2. You’re my hero!
Really, you barely know me. My typical response cannot be published here but put it this way, blind people can be sociopaths too.

1. On Halloween: “What a brilliant costume – a blind guy.”
No, this is my everyday look and why I never leave the apartment on Halloween anymore…

Comedian Josh Blue on the 10 things you should never say to a disabled person

1. What happened to you?
The response to this should be an obvious one: What if someone asked what happened to your…FACE… See? It doesn’t feel good.

2. Are you drunk?
Nope! And even if I was, I’d still be walkin’ like this.

3. Let me do that for you!
Chances are, they’ve already made it this far without your help, they probably don’t need it. If someone does need your help, they’ll ask for it.

4. Is that contagious?
Only if you want it to be, baby?

5. Can I have some of your medication?
Not for free!

6. How do you get rid of that?
Counter question: How do I get rid of you?

7. You can’t do that
Just watch me!

8. How much government’s assistance do you get?
We’re very capable of having jobs and we enjoy working! (Most days)

9. Have you ever had sex?
That’s DEFINITELY none of your business. We’re just like anyone else – we like to keep our private lives, PRIVATE. If you are curious about sex with disabilities, I’m sure there’s a whole dark place of the Internet available for research.

10. Do you ride the short bus?
No…that’s my Uber over there.