25 things only early noughties kids will understand

1. Searching for the perfect Myspace profile song that best conveyed your deeply complex soul.

myspace-add-to-profile

2. Keeping that swooping side-fringe in place #thestrugglewasreal

3. When you were feeling artistic:

wordartdb

4. Getting out of your super-tight black skinnies like:

5. Post-selfie arm ache.

myspace_angle

6. Your totally impractical school bag: 

s-l225

 

7. Evenings spent flirting on MSN. Will they guess my not-so-cryptic screen name is directed at them? Will they notice me if I log off and then back on? Screw it. I’m gonna nudge them. 

tumblr_mzz9vtw26c1ql6zyao1_400

8. Knowing you will never achieve the Delevingne brow because this was the fashion when you were growing up and you plucked out most of your eyebrow hair #sobsintopillow   

2c1515aa00000578-3226621-image-a-2_1441955101675

 

9. LimeWire basically killing your computer. 

10. California dreaming: ‘No, but like, I am definitely moving there when I grow up’. 

11. When bearing your soul to your crush involved Sharpies and a CD: 

320

12. The heart-stopping, pupil-dilating moment when you logged in to see this:

grid-cell-10138-1427295256-5

13. Spending more time with your virtual family than your real-life family.

14. Referencing Shaggy every time someone accused you of something.

15. Feeling so loyal to Myspace you convinced yourself Facebook would never take off.

16. Crop tops and belly button piercings because, Britney. 

17. Memorising the cheer routines from Bring It On.

18. You remember when Justin had his vengeance.

19. You still miss Woolworths.💔

84184958

 

20. Painful hair goals: 

21. This is the Vause you remember:

22. Waiting for that letter to come and then cursing your simple muggle self when it didn’t arrive. 

23. The satisfaction of opening and closing your flip-phone

24. Your sweet ride: 

25. Thinking this was the most romantic thing you had ever seen. 

RSS FORUM CHATS

  • Coming put and why it can be difficult
    It is really scary but its because it is unpredicable it can be bad or good but dont worry about the bad things just take into consideration that not everyone is good /will except you right away but that is just what happens please let me know if you want any updates on this and […]
  • Coping Methods for Parents' Comments
    TW: MENTION OF SUICIDE AND SEX Hi All, For a couple of years, I've had a negative view towards alcohol -- it influenced how my mother acted towards me. In 5th grade, I came back home to see my mother vomiting, puking and making sexual jokes on the floor. She asked "who are you? I […]
  • Hello
    .
  • Friendship problem
    Hi, I am a college student, and when things were knew, when we didn't know each other, our college teacher made a group of 5 people, who were active in class in the beginning, the group included me. So I got close to this girl, we used to talk, but we didn't really know eachother […]
  • I shouldn’t be having these thoughts (tw: s/icide)
    Well…. This is gonna be slightly hard to talk about but here goes… Tw: S/icide(u), Mentions of the afterlife I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts for quite a while now, since August 2019 onwards, but now they’re not too much of a problem (I mean they haven’t been too much of a problem for a little […]
  • I am afraid of life, not of death
    It is simply overwhelming for me. I've been sincerely the top of my class from first grade up to my last year in high school. Only then did I realize that I had spent all these years studying just to seek pleasure out of science, where in fact science has nothing to offer. My first […]

Comedian Shannon DeVido on how she usually answers these 10 common questions about being a wheelchair user

1. How do you go to the bathroom?

I didn’t do well in science, but from what I can tell, after I drink a lot of water or eat, after a few hours, my body lets me know it needs to come out…unless I eat Chipotle, then it’s only about 30 mins. Worth it though.

2. How fast does that thing go?

Sadly, not as fast as I want. If I had my way, I’d “pimp my chair” so it’d be able to go on a highway, but my family don’t think it’s very “safe”. Also, I often hear “you’re going to get a speeding ticket!” Nope. Not true. Not even in a school zone.

3. Can you have sex?

I think you need to buy me a nice dinner and be interested in my extensive Harry Potter knowledge before I answer this question for you.

4. Do you sleep in your chair?

This often comes from kids, so I will usually say, “No, because the stuffed animals on my bed would be lonely.” To adults I just eye roll.

5. Does she need something? (Asked to the person I’m with)

Hi! Down here! You can talk to me! I graduated college, Cum Laude. I’m pretty good at ordering chicken fingers.

6. Do you know [insert name here]? He’s also in a wheelchair.

Steve McSteverson? Yeah! He’s usually at the underground wheelchair meetings where we talk about stupid questions.

7. What’s wrong with you?

Plenty! Just ask my therapist! Honestly, I don’t mind when people ask me about my specific disability, but when it’s said in this curt manner it makes me feel like I should think there’s something wrong with me just for being a wheelchair user.

8. Is your boyfriend in a wheelchair too?

No, James McAvoy is not a wheelchair user… unless he’s playing Professor X. Then yes.

9. Can I get a ride?

How much are you paying me? Rates go up during peak hours and big events. #WheelchairUber

10. Do you need help?

Nope. I’m good. Thank you for asking. I promise I’ll ask if I need it.

**Disclaimer: I’m not actually dating James McAvoy. Sorry, rumour factory and apologies to his incredibly attractive wife.**

Written by Shannon DeVido

www.shannondevido.com

RSS FORUM CHATS

  • Coming put and why it can be difficult
    It is really scary but its because it is unpredicable it can be bad or good but dont worry about the bad things just take into consideration that not everyone is good /will except you right away but that is just what happens please let me know if you want any updates on this and […]
  • Coping Methods for Parents' Comments
    TW: MENTION OF SUICIDE AND SEX Hi All, For a couple of years, I've had a negative view towards alcohol -- it influenced how my mother acted towards me. In 5th grade, I came back home to see my mother vomiting, puking and making sexual jokes on the floor. She asked "who are you? I […]
  • Hello
    .
  • Friendship problem
    Hi, I am a college student, and when things were knew, when we didn't know each other, our college teacher made a group of 5 people, who were active in class in the beginning, the group included me. So I got close to this girl, we used to talk, but we didn't really know eachother […]
  • I shouldn’t be having these thoughts (tw: s/icide)
    Well…. This is gonna be slightly hard to talk about but here goes… Tw: S/icide(u), Mentions of the afterlife I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts for quite a while now, since August 2019 onwards, but now they’re not too much of a problem (I mean they haven’t been too much of a problem for a little […]
  • I am afraid of life, not of death
    It is simply overwhelming for me. I've been sincerely the top of my class from first grade up to my last year in high school. Only then did I realize that I had spent all these years studying just to seek pleasure out of science, where in fact science has nothing to offer. My first […]