Comedian Shannon DeVido on how she usually answers these 10 common questions about being a wheelchair user

1. How do you go to the bathroom?

I didn’t do well in science, but from what I can tell, after I drink a lot of water or eat, after a few hours, my body lets me know it needs to come out…unless I eat Chipotle, then it’s only about 30 mins. Worth it though.

2. How fast does that thing go?

Sadly, not as fast as I want. If I had my way, I’d “pimp my chair” so it’d be able to go on a highway, but my family don’t think it’s very “safe”. Also, I often hear “you’re going to get a speeding ticket!” Nope. Not true. Not even in a school zone.

3. Can you have sex?

I think you need to buy me a nice dinner and be interested in my extensive Harry Potter knowledge before I answer this question for you.

4. Do you sleep in your chair?

This often comes from kids, so I will usually say, “No, because the stuffed animals on my bed would be lonely.” To adults I just eye roll.

5. Does she need something? (Asked to the person I’m with)

Hi! Down here! You can talk to me! I graduated college, Cum Laude. I’m pretty good at ordering chicken fingers.

6. Do you know [insert name here]? He’s also in a wheelchair.

Steve McSteverson? Yeah! He’s usually at the underground wheelchair meetings where we talk about stupid questions.

7. What’s wrong with you?

Plenty! Just ask my therapist! Honestly, I don’t mind when people ask me about my specific disability, but when it’s said in this curt manner it makes me feel like I should think there’s something wrong with me just for being a wheelchair user.

8. Is your boyfriend in a wheelchair too?

No, James McAvoy is not a wheelchair user… unless he’s playing Professor X. Then yes.

9. Can I get a ride?

How much are you paying me? Rates go up during peak hours and big events. #WheelchairUber

10. Do you need help?

Nope. I’m good. Thank you for asking. I promise I’ll ask if I need it.

**Disclaimer: I’m not actually dating James McAvoy. Sorry, rumour factory and apologies to his incredibly attractive wife.**

Written by Shannon DeVido

www.shannondevido.com

RSS FORUM CHATS

  • I'M SO FREAKING SCARED PLEASE HELP
    So I think I might be aroflux, but I'm Christian. I've been struggling with this for like a month, and honestly I need a fellow Christian (if you're on the aro or ace spec that would be great) to help me out. I don't know how to come out or even if I am aroflux. […]
  • Some exciting updates from Ditch the Label coming June
    Howdy! It's been a busy few months here at Ditch the Label as we've been working on some exciting new updates which we'll be launching soon. I just wanted to share some highlights of things that you can expect to see over the next few weeks! New support mentors We're so excited to share that […]
  • I want to talk to someone being the real me not some "nerd" trying to be cool
    Have u seen heartstoper
  • An important message to everyone.
    Hi y'all! I just came to drop by and tell everyone this: You're all valid, no matter what background, ethnicity, race, religion, sexuality, or gender you have. I know that some of you are going through really tough times right now, and although I don't know what kind of situations you all have, I just […]
  • I'm in a romantic relationship thats not romantic
    Hello, I'm Emma and for the past year, I've had a crush on my best friend. 🙄 I asked her out and was so excited to be aeble to hold hands and kiss and be all romantic but none of that seemd to be happening. I plan out how I'm gonna hold her hand and […]
  • Jehovah's witness parents
    hi i need help coming out to my Jehovah's witnesses mother any tips?❤️