Why I Think People Bully – Having Bullied Someone Myself
We know from our research that those who bully others have complex issues that are not being addressed elsewhere, and that bullying can also be a learnt behaviour. After all, None of us are born with the ability to draw or sing a song; nor are we born with the ability to discriminate against someone because of the colour of their hair, or their skin or any other unique factor. Unfortunately, instead of taking the time to understand or embrace that difference, some people act negatively towards the unknown.
We spoke to Samantha Reilley, a YouTuber who recently admitted in one of her vlogs to having previously bullied a boy during her childhood. Here we find out what motivated her to act in such a way and how she feels about it now.
DtL: Hi Samantha, could you tell us a bit about yourself?
Samantha: WELL, I’m a 37 year old married lady that loves cats, makeup and social media. I would think that pretty much sums me up. I’d like to think I have a good sense of humor and timing and pride myself in amusing those around me. I’m not afraid to laugh at myself and not take anything too seriously.
DtL: You confess in your YouTube video that you used to bully others, can you tell us how and why you did this?
Samantha: When I was about 10, I bullied a boy at my grade school. I was relentlessly bullied along with this other boy, so I joined in on him too, just to fit it. I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time, which was deflecting the attention of the people bullying off of me and on to him, but that’s what it was. He was always a good guy, I was a jerk for no reason.
“I am totally ashamed but I understand why I did it”
DtL: What advice would you give to others who may be bullying their peers?
Samantha: Go find something else to do. Remember that your words leave lasting scars and could shape them in a negative way. Always think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed.
DtL: How do you feel about your behaviour now, looking back on it?
Samantha: I am totally ashamed but I understand why I did it. I was a young kid and I was bullied to the max. I had no outlet or support at my grade school. I always felt alone and scared. Kids aren’t confident at 10 years old, they aren’t secure in themselves. Maybe if I was, I wouldn’t have done what I did.
“I was relentlessly bullied along with this other boy, so I joined in on him too, just to fit it”
DtL: Why do you think people bully?
Samantha: I feel like people bully others because of a lacking in themselves. People don’t understand what they don’t know; human nature, sometimes, is to be scared of the unknown, to attack it, pick it off and destroy it. I also feel like it has a lot to do with environment, if you parents always tell you that you are nothing, you believe it, then you spread it. It’s hard to break away from negative thoughts about yourself, especially when you are child.
DtL: If you could go back in time what one thing would you tell your younger self?
Samantha: I’d tell myself to NOT CARE ABOUT ALL OF THEM. I spent too many days crying over the hurtful things said to me about my body, religion, my beliefs, it destroyed me. I’d love to tell myself to find happiness in things away from school, but that’s easier said than done when you spent 8 hrs a day there. I would remind myself to be good to others, that’s what is important in the end.
“I feel like people bully others because of a lacking in themselves”
DtL: What motto do you live by?
Samantha: I live by “It is what it is” and I’ll tell you why. The only person you can control in this life is you. Your behaviour, your actions and your words. We spend too much time obsessing over others, what they do and think, and that is pointless. Be good to others but realise you can only do so much. You have to live and let live.
DtL: Is there anything you would to add?
Samantha: Life is precious and you only get one, live it right with love and honesty. Be a person you can admire.
If you are bullying others and want to stop, please contact us here – we can help you 🙂